I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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