508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
