phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
