She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
