There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Just pee around me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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