watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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