he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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