You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
