i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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