the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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