So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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