Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
