if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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