dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
