Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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