We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
