what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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