On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
