i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
