My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
