I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
