I think my vagina is haunted
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
