My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
