I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did I show you my penis last night?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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