Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
