There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
