Buhtt sex?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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