I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
