Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
