too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
