that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize