Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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