id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
