I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
