my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
