umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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