operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Randomize
