We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
