We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
