all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
