Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
