did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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