I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
