Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
wow bdsm is so cute
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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