come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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