i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
