I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
