I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
