His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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