found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize