I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
