i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
