I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize