haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
