is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
