it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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