So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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