Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
