If that was your dad, he is hot
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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