The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
