The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I love you. Go after that dick
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
