well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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