birth control should be required to get into college
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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