I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Randomize
