i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She has the best kind of daddy issues
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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