The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
