Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
