You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
